an exile..........!!!!!!!!!

I still feel like today everything I felt on some day of May, 2003. It was the day when my 10^th exams results were out. Obviously like all others, I had some expectations, some statics about marks and my performance. When my one of my friends informed about percentage I had secured, as he was the first to check out my results on the net, I heard a figure from him that was really incredulous, exuberating and astounding –a staggering @@ % score- “staggering” is not exaggerating these 2 digits I had barely anticipated , moreover, Imanged to lived up to the expectations of all the concerned – my elders, aunts friends- who inquired about my score. I could easily figure out gaiety and exultation in their tone and voice while they were wishing me for my future. As these 2 digits started to fade away from my minds, some grave, perplexing, deliberation had started lingering my mind. Like all my firends, I was also puzzled as to picking up a particular stream out of – commerce, maths, biology, arts. No sooner than did I come up with my decision of going ahead with math’s than my parents with their decision of “ banishing” me to kota- something I had to comply only, possibility for defiance as rare as chance of finding air in vacuum. Hardly I dared to enquire what they had set me to go through had decide they coined a word “ iitjee” something I knew about was it’s some sort of arduous, grueling examination to get into something called as IIT to be something known as engineer. That’s all I had idea about IIT JEE. I vividly remember the day my departure was set to place where supposedly I would zero on in my ultimate destiny The day I spent just before my scheduled departure also brings me the myriad memories which can make me feel nostalgia at any time. All the time throughout day my mind was obsessed with image of myself stepping out of threshold my home, with tears trickling down the my blue face ,and my beloved ones are slowly and slowly diminishing out of my sight as the bus I had got on zips forward on the road. On such occasions, the person who can help in wipe out all gloominess and sadness from face and make it radiant with glee is none other than you, so I did the same thing. I tried to find a solitary corner somewhere and tried to remind myself the worth of what I was facing and was going to face. But, unfortunately, on this day spate of things happens reminding you of what you are going to come across like someone , from nearby, who has come over to your home to have a word with you to give piece advice as you would be leaving early in morning, your parents yelling at you to brings all your baggage at one place so that it can packed and arranged it so that I might everything I need without any trouble, pops up one by one to remind you that the you had been yours would be yours no more. Somehow this day ends and went to bed wishing all goodnight-though it wasn’t “a goodnight” for me at all, more or less a nightmare. All I have penned about my feeling may tend you to make a perception about me of childish mentality and naivety. But you can’t expect much of the mature behavior from who is leaving their beloved one’s first time and never expected to come in my way something serious like this which would be totally different from my daily life. The day I reached Kota, my father arranged a p.g for me at a suitable distance form my school and coaching institute. Next day I spent with my father scuttling from one place to another to get admission into schooling and coaching thing that was my really purpose for being here. I enjoyed myself that day, kept my mind out of any worry, when one gets to new place it has generally a lot of places and things to make one feel some fresh and different, at that moment you forget about our native place temporarily. Then came the third day, it was the time for my father to bid me goodbye and leave me alone on my own. This is the very moment you feels like waking up from a dream and realize fully that you are out of your place. It was 8 in the evening when I was being thrown alone in this another world, as couldn’t stand all that so I broke into tears. My aunty, lady whose tenant I was, was a very affectionate , caring, and helping woman. She encouraged me like her own child while was still sobbing. I bear no grievance about my family’s decision but for an emotional guy like me, it’s not all always tolerable. ..a.long exile had begun..........!!!!!!